Ever wonder what a perfect world would be like? Where everything you had planned just works out, without a care or fuss in the world?
I used to strive for perfection in my previous job.
Planning and managing events were my life – and I loved and hated it at the same time.
It was chaos, but always a planned and controlled chaos.
Everything had to be micro-managed down to the tiniest detail and I always had a backup plan for my backup plan.
Thinking back on it now, it was A-B-S-O-L-U-T-E-L-Y exhausting!
I have had to learn to stop listening to that inner voice in my head that is consistently saying – “You must do it this way and if it doesn’t work, do it that way!”
I have found blasting my music loudly in my pottery studio really helps my brain to stop working.
I am not saying, don’t plan. I am just saying if your clay falls in during a print, it falls in, and so what?!
The clay prints I have available for my workshops are planned and calculated, so that people know what to expect, but my own artworks – not so much.
My best expressive works have come from a well thought out and structurally sound 3D design – only to have it warp and change completely once it is printed.
When my clay 3d printer and I were still at odds with one another a few months ago, I wanted everything perfect.
And that is why we continuously had disagreements.
I only figured out a few weeks ago that my process of creating my gorgeous clay printed works were – part planning, and part chance.
When I talk about chance, I am referring to how a few degrees of uncertainty in the 3d design could ultimately lead to major changes in the final clay form.
The parameters such as clay consistency and my physical manipulation of the form whilst it is printing will never be timed to the exact second again – which leads to exquisite forms that I can never replicate again.
Just talking about the process brings a smile to my face, and I can feel I am starting to type faster and faster….
This has really been an exciting time in my life.
I am entering into this world where forms do not have to have a perfect shape and the unknown is far more exciting than having everything planned.
My work can be perfect in its imperfections and the world as imperfect as it is, will understand.
I have also seen that people also want to see those parts of you that make you human including the parts of the process that are not so perfect.
The parts where the clay falls in, where the shape warps and stetches, cracks and breaks – much like we all do as we go about living our lives.
Going forward, I no longer have a clear set out plan. The building blocks are there; however, I can change my mind and things along the way.
I am also not fighting my brain anymore.
If I have an idea and I find myself thinking that I am absolutely nuts, well that is probably the idea I will end up challenging myself with.
I am D-O-N-E underrating my plans and future goals because I always felt less than, D-O-N-E!
As this adventure I am on has its twists and turns I find myself thankful for all of those who have stood by me over the years.
It has been a rocky road and to those who accepted me as I am, imperfections and all, I want to say thank you!
I am stronger for it!